Mod Post: Some Additional Rules

[cuddyclothes]

As delighted as your mod is with how give_satisfaction is going, there are some topics that simply are not in our purview. While dark and disturbing material is fine, some recent prompts have crossed the line.

This prompt, for instance: (trigger warning : suicide) Bertie tries to kill himself but fails, it's Jeeves that found and stopped him. H/C angst.
(I know pretty dark sorry)

give_satisfaction  is not the place for this prompt. If they are to be taken seriously, and might be triggering, then suicide, rape, murder and excessive violence are not acceptable for prompts. Part of the fun of a kink meme community is that it is a safe space.

Please take those prompts toindeedsir , for their plot bunny farms. As far as I know, prompts can also be made there anonymously.

Thanks.


ETA: In light of the discussion there has been a poll posted. Please vote and comment!

Comments

[erinptah]

So, look, I don't want to jump down your throats here, but...

1) The rules say "no underage" and "no RPF", but nothing about suicide, rape, murder, or violence being "not acceptable."

2) Literally anything can be triggering, because anything can be involved in a traumatic incident. For some people, fic about consensual sex is triggering. Other real triggers include tooth-brushing, couch cushions, and Jello. If your definition of "safe space" is "only fic that contains no triggering content for anyone," that's an impossible standard.

3) ...you know something else that could be triggering? For a reader who has struggled with suicidal urges (no idea if that includes the prompt OP, but it probably includes at least a few readers of this community) to be told, suddenly and out of nowhere, that "a story about someone like you being rescued and comforted" is "not appropriate."

4) Part of the fun of a kink meme is that it's a safe space...for people to explore things in fiction without being shamed. Even if those things are sexy, kinky, weird, or dark.

I get that you want to make it easy for people to avoid fics that will be bad for them -- but a better way to do that is by giving people the tools to manage and control their own reading experience, not by trying to control it for them. (Note that loss of control is a big factor in PTSD! And getting a sense of control back is a big part of healing.)

What I mean is, start requiring warnings. And not a general "warn for triggering content," because that's impossible (see point 2). Come up with a clear, specific list of topics that need to be warned for. People whose triggers are on the list will find them refreshingly easy to avoid, and people with non-listed triggers won't be dangerously misled into thinking they're covered.

[(Anonymous)]

I was the prompt OP, and I agree with everything Eriptah just said, point 3 is pretty relevant for me, I have struggled with those urges in the past and frankly that's why I had posted it here, reading fics that deal with that where a character is rescued have helped me before, I was feeling down yesterday and that's why I had posted that prompt (not suicidal atm don't worry, I've been better for a few months now)
But yeah getting told suddenly that's not appropriate? It's not a nice feeling. :(
I get that it can be triggering to some which is why I had started my prompt with the trigger clearly written.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for adding this. I think it's an important point. A thing that is triggering for one person can be even therapeutic for another person.
I'm the prompter of the bad guys made them do it. I like reading dark fics involving violence and characters suffering and I know that many people would call it sick but it's not that I enjoy violence or get turned on by the characters suffering. For me it's about survival. Reading about characters surviving the most terrible and hopeless situations gives me hope and helps me cope with things that have happened to me. And it helps me like nothing else.

[(Anonymous)]

Emphatically agree with everything here, especially #3. Please do consider this seriously, mods.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed about #3. The person has every reason to think that prompt was okay. Treating them like they stepped out of bounds when they didn't can be hurtful and make people feel bad.

It's important to have the rules set up solidly ahead of time.

I am not the prompter, but speaking from personal experience elsewhere if I have comments deleted that I thought were okay I feel really bad. Like I've crossed some unwritten rule that I should somehow have known. I feel like a reject, like I never was part of that community / fandom / etc.

[(Anonymous)]

it’s a complex issue and I think everyone is going to feel differently about it. That’s okay. It’s a good thing that we’re talking about it, right? if I may suggest something, maybe there could be a separate post for prompts that involve darker subjects? that way prompters still feel free to post whatever they want without being judged (while following the rules of course), but people who prefer not to see darker subjects can simply avoid the post and have a comfortable/safe experience.

[(Anonymous)]

It's good that we are talking about this yes ,
but I am not sure that putting so called darker prompt in a separated section will work, because what is dark/triggering for someone might not be for someone else. I am terrified by dogs I would love to avoid those prompts are you really going to put dog in the "trigger" post ?
If darker prompts are not allowed in the "regular" kink meme, then I mean the tentacles prompt is definitively rape, should it be allowed ?(I was the one that made it btw) there was just a fill (very nicely done) with a dubcon scene that was super dark yet allowed.
Breathplay again super nice fill, still could be super triggering for someone.
The one with the bladder thing personally made me pretty uncomfortable, so guess what I did? I simply did not read it .
I mean who is going to judge which is appropriate and which is not ?
I think that asking to put triggers on top of post would work much better, so that if someone want to avoid something they can.
Policing everything goes against the whole point of a kinkmeme.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes I guess posting trigger warnings on top of posts is a good idea, and then if there is no trigger warning, the prompt itself can serve as a warning.
Sounds reasonable this way.
Like your fear of dogs, for example. A lot of writers won't think of putting "trigger warning: dogs" on their fill, but that's okay because the prompt in itself is a warning.
And like you said about watersports. Since that really makes you uncomfortable, reading the prompt itself told you that you do NOT want to read the fill.

Yeah I think I quite agree with you. Trigger warnings on top of fills are a good idea, and if there are no warnings, we just have to make sure to read the prompt carefully.

[(Anonymous)]

These new rules are a pretty arbitrary line to try to draw, especially banning rape when it's one of the most common kinks and there have been plenty of prompts and fills with some degree of dub/non-con.

The banned prompt isn't asking to fetishize suicide or portray it in a positive light, it's just H/C centered on an interrupted suicide attempt. Treating suicide as a taboo topic is harmful in itself, it perpetuates stigma.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with everything that’s being said here, but I also don’t want to be too hard on the mods. They’re doing their best, trying to make the kinkmeme fun and safe for everyone. So while I do encourage them to reconsider, I also want them to know that I realize being a mod is tricky!

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks! Working on a poll!

[(Anonymous)]

Agree here too! I've commented raising some objections, but nothing is meant harshly or personally at all, I totally respect that modding can be tricky. I appreciate a friendly discussion on an interesting/nuanced topic.

[(Anonymous)]

Same here!